A Walk Through Life

After reading Shanix's blog about birth control , I also thought of writing about it. At first, I thought that it's a little awkward to talk about it on my blog. Talking about sex and stuffs like that is quite uncomfortable for me. I only talk about it hush-hush with some female friends. Anyway, I realized that just like the celebrities, I needed to take on more mature roles. Hehehe. How did I get pregnant, anyway? So there you go. After giving birth via c-section, I'm expected not to get pregnant within two to three years. Something to do with healthy pregnancy. My health, in general. Prior to giving birth, we've already agreed that we would only try the Billings method as our recourse for family planning. This is what the church had taught us during our pre-cana seminar. We were told that taking birth control pills, ligation and any other non-natural birth control methods are said to be "anti-life" and the church is against this. So that's my fear. Being...

after the C-section, i thought it was already time to celebrate because i'm already out of danger. unfortunately, when i came back to my doctor to have my incision checked, i had a 150/110 reading again on my blood pressure. my BP has already returned to normal before i was released to the hospital but then it started recurring, again and again. i still have edema in the feet and abdomen at that time so the doctor suspected that it might be the contributing factor to my hypertension. aside from treating my edema, i was prescribed with medicine for hypertension but i only have to take it if my BP is above or equal to 130/80. i was reluctant to drink hypertension medicine because i was worried i might start to become dependent to it but the doctor insisted. my hypertension has to be corrected within six weeks. i was told that a hypertension that won't go away beyond six weeks after delivery is no longer a postpartum hypertension. it might become chronic. also, i was told that if ...

This may not be what you may call a perfect photograph but I was greatly touched by this picture. A picture of the three of us for the first time after the C-section. I look so pale and tired in this picture. Little Pauline is already beside me in my small bed. My husband is taking a quick pancit meal because he can't leave me to eat somewhere else. He's wrapped his hand with clean plastic so he can eat by hand. I gave birth at a district hospital, not so far away from our home. Unlike a private hospital where almost everything in it looks splendid, this district hospital is not really much of a beautiful sight, although their medical team are equally as competent as the ones being employed at a private hospital. In fact, most doctors who are working at a private hospital also work for a government hospital. When I first saw this picture, I was teary-eyed because I pitied ourselves. Didn't we look so poor and desolate in this situation? Actually, we're not in the ward s...

Who would ever think I would end up in the C-section? I guess as a primigravida , everyone's (including myself) expecting it'd be a normal vaginal delivery. Well, surprise! surprise! I kept asking myself, "How did it happen?" You see, I've been very careful about my pregnancy. Aside from my usual pre-natal sessions, I kept reading and browsing the Internet just to keep me informed about anything pertaining to pregnancy and motherhood. I guess I still have a lot to learn. A week before I gave birth to Pauline, I was requested to do another ultrasound. I was relieved to know that my baby is in cephalic position. I thought that should already be enough to keep me assured that it would be a normal delivery. It turned out that I was wrong. It was already three days past my expected delivery date, yet I still didn't feel any signs of impending labor. I don't know why but my doctor is beginning to worry. She did an internal examination on me and she said my cerv...

hello to my readers, fellow bloggers, friends, family and well-wishers! i'm now at home with baby diane pauline. it's so good to be at home and resting. or should i say recuperating. i thought it would be a normal delivery, but, unexpectedly, i said hello to the C-section. :( march 26, 2009. 2:27 a.m. thankfully, she's finally with us. i wish i could tell you right now all the details of what a struggle it had been trying to safely deliver baby pauline to this world but i'll probably write it on a new post later on as i am still not one hundred percent A-okay. just give me some time to be on the writing mode. meantime, i'll just leave you with this picture of pauline and his dad, taken at the hospital.

Just for the record, it's been fourteen days since my maternity leave. Little Pauline is still kicking strong inside my womb. If she follows the expected delivery date stated in the ultrasound, I'll be due in eight days. Waaaaaa... I'm getting excited and nervous at the same time. How will I hold out on this pregnancy? God, I certainly wish and pray for a safe delivery. Ever since I got this break from work, I've been doing some walking as a form of exercise. The doctor told me it is best for me. It can certainly help induce labor by bringing on contractions, in a natural way. Everytime I do that, I feel like she's going a little lower, heading down below my pelvis. If she's indeed moved a little lower, the internal examination tomorrow wouldn't be as painful as my first experience. I'd be lucky if the doctor wouldn't have to probe deeper. I wake up everyday wondering if today could be the day that my waterbag breaks. Am I ready for it? I have everyt...

I remembered bchai mentioning something about an oatmeal lotion that can give some relief to itching during pregnancy. I’ve been doing some shopping here and there but I didn’t see any oatmeal lotion being sold here in Cebu. Or maybe I just didn’t look hard enough. Right now, I’m itching all over my belly. My back is itching too but it’s not quite as itchy as my belly. I tell you, it’s not fun to itch like this. I’ve been trying to control the itching by trying not to scratch it, like it’s a mind-over-matter kind of thing. Sometimes I can’t help but scratch it a little. And a little bit more. Now the sight of my stretch marks is getting worse.

Since I’m getting closer to my D-day, I’ve been seeing my ob gyne every week. If I remember it right, this weekly pre-natal visit started when I hit my eighth month. During the first few weeks of my visit, ob gyne just did some routine check—measuring the size of my belly and checking on the baby’s heartbeat via Doppler. What else is new? I've been getting my usual verbal reminding from ob gyne about my almost uncontrollable appetite. Like a recorder, she’s been constantly telling me to eat in small meals and that I should stop eating before I feel “full”. Oh, I don’t know why, I don’t have special cravings for a certain food like most pregnant women but I believe I have a crazy appetite. If I should get pregnant again, I will no longer submit to my appetite, no more overeating. It’s such a struggle when you’re pregnant and putting on too much weight. It’s an excruciating experience especially during the later weeks of pregnancy. Why? First, it’s harder to get up with a really bloa...

I thought I would not be writing anything until after my big day. Since I’m already within the full term of my pregnancy, I’ve been caught up with a lot of things. So this is what it feels like when you’re waiting for D-day, huh! Everytime hubby is planning on going somewhere else without me, I feel so scared that he won’t be around when my water bag breaks. It’s a blessing in disguise that their training in the new company was put on hold until further notice. It buys us some time for him to be around when I’m in labor. By the way, we’ve received monetary gifts from sister-in-law in Norway and aunt/uncle in New Jersey. Such sweet relatives--thank you very much! They sent us to the mall shopping for more of our baby Pauline’s needs. Thank you God for all the blessings! As far as planning is concerned, everything went well. We just hired someone to help us around the house. She’ll be our baby sitter when hubby and I get back to work. We also made sure that we have everything we primari...

So I’ve forgotten to write an update about my pregnancy. Let me just pick up where I left off. I’ll be on my eighth month this February 15th. Last Sunday, I went to the clinic for my pre-natal checkup. Ob gyne almost forgot to give me my second dose of anti-tetanus that day. I almost forgot about it, too. Lately, this pregnancy is keeping me from remembering a lot of things. I’ve already stepped out of the consultation room and she had already pushed the button to call on her next patient when my husband who was just in the waiting area asked me if I was done with the anti-tetanus stuff. I had to ask the front desk assistant so that I’d be allowed to go back in to remind her about it. It’s in the patient card, doc. How could you have missed it? You had the schedule of the shot clearly written. I could have told her that but I didn’t. I don’t blame her. She got lots of patients every Sunday. It’s already way past lunch but she had to attend to about ten patients more. This is the same ...

and the element of surprise was gone last friday -- we are getting a girl! the polls are right. baby girl wins! unless the ultrasound or the sonologist made a mistake about it because i've read about odd cases like this. some of my friends made some guesses that i'm getting a boy because to them i didn't look my best. or i looked different from what i used to be. i heard about this a lot of times that i didn't really bother to fix myself up anymore. it's like my subconscious wanted them to be right about it [ all right now, i looked awful, so you maybe right, it's a boy ]. there was a time my husband asked me why i didn't comb my hair. i jokingly told him, " i'm getting you a baby boy " and we just laughed about it. when i sent dad an SMS telling him that we're getting a girl soon, he said he knew it's a girl. i was touched because in my father's eyes, i looked blooming with my pregnancy. well anyway, all these are anything but gue...

It looks like I haven’t written anything for like three days. Last week, I was caught up with one challenging project in the office that almost all of my energy went into it, and by the time I got home, I was too tired to even think about anything. I tried to be in the writing mode but before I could get my fingers typing, my eyes were already drooping that I had to give in to my sleepiness. Over the weekend, I felt I wanted nothing more than just curling up in bed with my husband and sleep all the weariness away. This morning, though, I looked up at my notes in the calendar and realized that it's my pre-natal schedule with my ob gyne. So, it's not the 28th, huh? Whatever happened to my sense of time? Fortunately, we still made it to the clinic on time--I was her 18th patient. Well, there wasn't much of an update. Dra. wanted me to continue taking iron-folic and omega-3, and just replaced my vitamin B complex with calcium. I was unaware that I had been eating too much ever ...

Time flies so fast. It's getting more and more obvious. My belly. I realized I almost run out of clothes to wear. It looks like I have outgrown almost everything I have in my closet and nothing seems to fit me anymore. Don't you just hate it when you have to search for anything still wearable at this time? Ah, I told my husband, we're going shopping this week. Just a pair or two every payday. I'm not planning to buy lots of maternity clothes though because I know this pregnancy won't last very long. We would rather save it for baby's future needs. Here's a sneak peek at my growing belly. Hubby just took a shot of this tonight. Should I let it grow more by eating more? I think there's nothing wrong with my appetite, though. I eat anytime I feel hungry. So, no worries. Don't I look awful? hehehe.. I guess I'll just have to sleep this off. Goodnight.

I just got a call today from my elder brother who works in Abu Dhabi. It was so sweet of him to ask how I am doing with my pregnancy and all that. I told him I'm okay and that I'm already in my 5th month. He had strict reminders: Take care of the baby. Cover your belly with black cloth when you go to sleep. Now the black cloth was something new to me. So I asked, What's with the black cloth, bro? He said it's for protection or covering against negative elements around, like aswang . And that's not all, he also added that I should have with me garlic and ginger in the bedroom, still for protection purposes, because they help drive the negative elements away. Now that wasn't the first time that I've heard about the garlic and ginger stuff because I've seen it already in the movies and I know of some superstitious preggies who are really doing this. My brother's pointers had me paranoid a little bit. After the call ended, I asked my husband not to sl...

Yesterday, when me and my husband were heading home after an eight hours' work, we bumped into Manang L, the owner of a carenderia just beside our office. Everytime we bump into each other, she usually has something friendly to say to me, although I didn't like how she would often mistake or call me "Janet" (she meant " Jenneth ", a friend/ex-officemate/ex-lunchmate of mine, who already found a new life with her American husband in Ozark, Arkansas) when we've already known each other for years. Don't get me wrong, though, I don't have anything against my good friend, Jenneth. Maybe I just find it irritating everytime Manang L displays episodes of selective amnesia. Anyhow, I'm willing to forgive Manang L for it as she must've been too stressed preparing all the viands each day, or worse, she must've been affected by a lot of monosodium glutamate intake in her cooking which probably blocked her memory moisture hehehe. Yesterday was su...

i have been feeling my baby's strong movements and kicks this week especially when i'm working in the office and sitting for hours. i know it's my baby moving around, it feels different. it's not painful but it should be enough to get me fidgeted, but only for a while. it's really a wonderful feeling everytime i feel the little one moving inside. for now, though, hubby can't still feel the baby kicking. maybe in the next month or so, he should be lucky enough to feel those kicks. the very first time i told him that i felt the baby's movements inside, his face lightened up! i wonder what his facial expression would be when he would be able to feel it for himself. and if anyone is wondering why i'm awake at this time, it's because i have awakened from my wonderful sleep. this little fella inside is probably doing some sort of a somersault. i've been talking to him/her about going easy on the movements hehehe. this now brings me back to the topic o...

nobody goes through this life without ever experiencing their "downs", not even the wealthiest of people. when i was still single, i would recall going back home with my folks everytime i feel like i needed some time off to lift my spirit ( don't get me wrong, i don't only go home when i'm troubled, i also go home to visit my family and in a happy state ). and i would always remember, it's always my mom who notices my unhappy mode and she would always try to get me to talk about it. and from there we would have a long conversation. that's what i missed about my mom. i missed our talks, her warm, caring and thoughtful ways. i guess God would understand why i still feel sad sometimes about losing her too early. i thought it was too early for her to be taken away from us. i thought she'd get to see how i've grown from a helpless lass to a mature lady and an expectant mom. i thought she'd have the chance to see my baby. but we lost her. we lost ...

i woke up with a bad stomach today, must be the panini i ate last night for dinner at the food court. it was my first time to try it. it did taste great but somehow the pita sandwich with all the fresh vegetables with cheese and chicken spread didn't do me any good. or maybe i just can't survive without rice in my meals. i guess i have to take this one out of my food choices, at least until my pregnancy is due. better safe than sorry. my tummy is getting bigger. i realized i'm already having a hard time putting on my panty standing up hehehe. funny but true. and my appetite is pretty much impressive, it's back in circulation. i feel like ordering and eating all the food i see and want but i have to watch what i eat and my weight so i won't have to deal with health problems affecting me and the baby later on. have to remind myself again about not literally eating for two. time to go. have to prepare for work.

i have been sleeping on my left side ever since i learned that it's not good for a pregnant woman to lay flat on her back as it affects the circulation and blood flow to the baby. i am not so comfortable with this recommended position as i'm used to sleeping flat on my back or stomach when i wasn't pregnant but i wouldn't want to do anything to harm my baby so i had to keep this one on my sacrifice list. i say sacrifice because i haven't been getting a full night's sleep with this position. takes a matter of getting used to. i usually get up in the middle of the night with some pain in my right butt and the back of my leg. sometimes i find it difficult to get up because of the pain. i had to do some leg stretching and self-motivation just to be able to get out of bed and relieve me of the pain. well, i must confess i don't exercise regularly. although i keep myself mobile most of the time, i now realize it's still not enough especially that i'm put...

what else is new? i cried again today. i don't know if i can always blame it to hormones and pregnancy stuff but i've been emotionally unstable lately. my emotions are sometimes uncontrollable. when we got home from work, there was one birthday card waiting for him, with a free fastfood meal ticket as a birthday treat. it's from the telecommunications company. call it pathetic but i really felt so bad that i broke into tears because i didn't get anything for my husband's birthday, not even a simple birthday card, like the one he just received. i've been meaning to get him something for his birthday but since we always go out and go to work together, i didn't have the chance to sneak around and play the thoughtful wife. i had my chance yesterday morning when we had to file for a leave. we had to go separate directions to save some time--he went out to renew his driver's license while i had to visit my ob gyne for my vitamins. unfortunately, ob gyne didn...