my defining moment

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nobody goes through this life without ever experiencing their "downs", not even the wealthiest of people. when i was still single, i would recall going back home with my folks everytime i feel like i needed some time off to lift my spirit (don't get me wrong, i don't only go home when i'm troubled, i also go home to visit my family and in a happy state). and i would always remember, it's always my mom who notices my unhappy mode and she would always try to get me to talk about it. and from there we would have a long conversation. that's what i missed about my mom. i missed our talks, her warm, caring and thoughtful ways. i guess God would understand why i still feel sad sometimes about losing her too early. i thought it was too early for her to be taken away from us. i thought she'd get to see how i've grown from a helpless lass to a mature lady and an expectant mom. i thought she'd have the chance to see my baby. but we lost her. we lost her to brain aneurysm. we lost her to God. i don't feel bad about it, just sad. i just missed her, that's all. especially now. although hubby or the rest of the family would always be there to listen, you would want to discuss your fears and worries to your mom, right? i don't know so much about being a mom YET (i'm almost there though) but having a mom beside you gives you that certain distinct comfort. since that's not possible anymore, i just prayed to God that He would always guide me to become a good wife and mother like her. and everytime i call on Him, i feel a sense of relief and peace in my heart. makes me want to look forward to more brighter days ahead.

so now, i'm sharing this song to anyone reading this. i hope this will touch your heart as it had touched mine.



my eyes aren't sleepy yet as i've slept almost the whole afternoon. but i'm way past bedtime, so i have to sleep now, even if it would take a lot of counting sheeps.

Comments

  1. BchaiNovember 10, 2008 at 6:11 PM

    I'm sorry that your mom passed away so soon. I'm sure she's watching over you from above and sending you little messages from time to time. :)

    Also, it sounds as though you've got great support from your hubby, family, and friends!

    ...and I'm positive you'll be an AWESOME mom, dear!

    ReplyDelete
  2. meretrishaNovember 11, 2008 at 7:58 AM

    thanks bchai..

    ReplyDelete
  3. BchaiNovember 11, 2008 at 4:40 PM

    By the way, have you had any dreams of your baby? They say if you dream it's a boy, it'll turn out a boy. If it's a girl, it'll be a girl.

    When's the next appointment at the OB?

    ReplyDelete
  4. meretrishaNovember 11, 2008 at 4:58 PM

    i didn't dream about the baby's gender yet but before i got a positive result on my HPT, my husband dreamt of a boy that looked just like him playing in the backyard. does that count? hehehe. btw, i was frying eggs for our breakfast last sunday and was surprised to find a twin yolk on one egg, could it be that i'm getting a twin? wahaha.. the early ultrasound said otherwise. my next appointment will be on the 28th.

    ReplyDelete
  5. BchaiNovember 11, 2008 at 9:08 PM

    LOL...it only counts when it's the mother's dreams!

    28th, huh? Just a few weeks away, but I bet you guys will be sleepless until you know the sex! :)

    ReplyDelete

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