A Walk Through Life

Looking back, I never thought I would ever find someone I would marry. It was even hard to get myself a boyfriend for an inspiration. I guess I’ve never been that attractive to men. While most women have been blessed with good looks and good curves, I have been blessed with brains more than the physical aspect. I’m not saying I’m too ugly to be with anybody. It’s just that I had a lot more insecurities at that time than I can handle. I was young then. I hated it when people and "so-called" friends notice your flaws instead of focusing on the positive things about you. In short, I have always felt less beautiful but I have somehow managed to hide my insecurities by always being the funny and witty girl around. I was always everybody’s friend. I was always the unattached . By being so, I have excused myself from being somebody’s apple of the eye. But it was always my family who saw me as beautiful. My mom would always say I’m a late bloomer , the reason why I haven’t met my guy

it's been awhile since my last update. somehow i've acquired some complications that go along with my pregnancy. for one, i believe it's major laziness . i just realized i haven't been very useful in the house lately. my husband doesn't complain much about it although i try to make it up by doing the laundry. i get easily tired and sleepy most of the time. waking up early and getting to work on time is also a major problem, hubby has to drag me out of bed. good thing, though, we haven't been tardy since the start of my pregnancy but every working day has always been a rush hour . oops, i know this wouldn't sell for a movie. sorry, jackie chan! if there's anything i'm crazy about doing-- it's eating ! the first trimester was a disaster, i almost can't eat anything. now that i am already in my 17th week, i am literally eating for two . i know i should watch my diet but i really can't help it. my growing appetite is a major hindrance . hubby

i thought i've finally freed myself from experiencing weird dreams , but i guess i'll just have to get used to it. like sequels to a movie. last night, i was dreaming of my mom visiting me. for all you know, it hasn't been a year since she passed away. in that dream, i woke up in the middle of the night to find her sitting on a chair in the right side of the bed, watching me sleep, like a mom (she's my mom!) watching her little baby. it was weird because we don't have a chair near our bed. i felt groggy but i was so happy to see mom. we started to have a conversation but i didn't realize i had awakened my husband from his sleep. he asked me who i was talking to. i was about to tell him about mom's presence but she hurriedly ran downstairs and left. i cried because i didn't understand why mom left. hubby said there was no one else in the house but him and me. that's when i remembered that she's already on the other side of the world. and then i wo

when it comes to music, i can say that i am eclectic. i don’t just listen to a particular genre. suffice it to say, i know good music when i hear one. well, it’s not a crime to claim to be music-minded. after all, this is my blog hehe. right now, though, as my pregnancy progresses, i am more careful about the music i listen to. i learned that there were studies about loud and aggressive music being linked to birth defects. true or not, most (if not all) hopeful moms would like to be always on the safe side. so, i say, no more rap, grunge or hard rock at this point in time. they say classical music is best for the unborn child because this type of music has soothing and calming qualities. now i’m beginning to love mozart and beethoven. i don’t restrict myself to classical music, though. love songs and other pleasant melodies can add up to my okay list.

i was taken aback when i recently had some series of weird dreams. they were weird but they felt so real that it had me wondering what these dreams really mean. in one of those dreams, my husband was really mad at me that he sent me mean words through SMS. i thought it's really weird, why would he express his anger through SMS when he would have said it to my face since we are living in one roof? and it was not like my husband at all, totally opposite from the real world. in another dream, i was running so fast just to get to school. it was really weird because i went back to high school. and here's another weird but scary dream -- in my prenatal visit, the doctor told me that there was something wrong with my pregnancy but she said she will not tell me about it, because if she did, i might resort to committing suicide. it felt so helpless in the dream, i kept crying about the situation because another doctor honestly told me that i had "stage 3". there was no mention

I was on my third month of pregnancy when ob gyne recommended me to have a transvaginal ultrasound. I told her that I needed proof of this pregnancy for my early SSS maternity notification. Doppler can’t still recognize the baby’s heartbeat yet, my baby is still shy :). So there you go, to keep my inexperienced self from worrying about what’s going on inside my womb, I decided I’ve got to get this transv ultrasound done. I’ve been having qualms about it because I know it’s going to be real awkward. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa! My helpless self couldn’t believe I’d go through this. I know that in some countries, this is already part of their prenatal procedure but I really couldn’t help being uncomfortable with it. Nonetheless, I said to myself, I shouldn’t be afraid or be uneasy with it. I’ll probably have more of this uneasy feeling as my pregnancy progresses, especially when the big day comes when I would bring this baby out to this world. My ob gyne referred me to a clinic where I would undergo

This is my first pregnancy. At 31. Hopefully, I will be 32 when the baby comes out. It's only been less than a year since hubby and I got married but we're already praying for it. Yes, age has something to do with it, the decision not to put off pregnancy. We wanted to make sure we can have at least one baby before it gets too late. I'm not what you may call an expert in this field. Neither is hubby. But luckily, after having been disappointed a lot of times, I got a positive result on my home pregnancy test! The next day after, I tried to test again just to make sure I get the same positive result. Voila, hubby and I couldn't contain our happiness. I guess I will be writing more about my pregnancy every so often. My moods, experiences, interests and probably a lot more. I hope to be able to update this blog regularly so I would forever remember what it's like to be pregnant for the first time. To anyone who might be interested in following this blog, thank you for