Sunday, November 30, 2008

wide awake with random thoughts

some days i feel so sleepy. some days my eyes are wide awake and today is just one of those days. why is this so? i wonder. maybe i've been thinking about my brother's nursing licensure exam. he just took the first set today. he'll have the other set tomorrow. we've been praying to God that he will pass this licensure exam. as you know, it is our tita juliet in new jersey who sponsored for his education. i know that there's nothing else that can make her happy but for him to finally make it to the end. but i'm not only praying that he pass it in order to give delight to our aunt--more than anything else, it's his future i'm so concerned about. i want him to finally feel that sense of fulfillment for himself. that he will already feel what it's like to reap the fruits of your own labor. so here i am again, pleading to God, that he will grant what I have prayed for on my birthday.

the baby is starting to kick me. looks like he/she wanted me to get to bed already, sleepy or not. i'm going and gone now.

p.s.
good luck, jason john! no matter what happens, you're still my brother :)

Thank God It Was Friday

I've been putting off going to SSS to get a new ID card that should already bear my married name. If it is not needed for my maternity benefits/claims next year, I would have postponed it until I give birth but then I learned it's part of the requirements. Blah blah blah. Since our company follows the American holidays, I had the opportunity to schedule my visit to the SSS last Friday.

Hubby and I had it carefully planned. Or so we thought. We woke up at 5 a.m., took a quick breakfast and shower, got dressed, and hurried our way to SSS. We got there by 7:30 a.m. Our target was to arrive at 7 a.m. but I guess we weren't so lucky with commuting. As far as I know, when we arrived, the office hours hasn't really started yet but to my dismay, we were told by the security guard that we can no longer make our transaction on that day because they can only accommodate 160 persons each day to have their IDs taken (talk about computerization with some limitations). Unfortunately, all the priority numbers were already released. I learned that people came in as early as 5:30 a.m. or 6 a.m. to get their priority numbers. I was a little disappointed with the system. How can they expect me to arrive as early as 6 a.m.? Don't they have some consideration for pregnant women like me? Grrrr. I don't know but I'm really sure there's something that needs to be fixed with the system. I wouldn't mind being scheduled on a specific day of their choice as long as I know I will surely be accommodated. It's a waste of time and effort to be there only to find out you can't make your transaction because somebody else came in a little earlier than you do.

Should I say Thanksgiving Day is not my lucky day? Well, I know it has nothing to do with it. I just hope I'd be lucky to be finally accommodated on my next scheduled visit. Hopefully.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

here's what I think about Christmas...

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…

Everywhere I go, something always tells me Christmas is definitely just around the corner. People already started to put up Christmas lights and decorations in their homes, Christmas songs are frequently played over the radio, malls are having their own pre-Christmas sale, blogs about Christmas are everywhere, and people are already busy thinking of what to give to their loved ones this Christmas.

I used to look forward to the Christmas holidays until last year came and broke my spirit. It was December 20th of last year that we lost our mom. Everytime I think about it, I feel like asking myself “What’s there to celebrate?” Christmas will always remind me about losing her.

But then I guess I need to look deeper into the real essence of Christmas. That it’s not just about merry-making, get-togethers and family reunions. Come to think of it, we are celebrating our Savior’s birthday. This is not our day. It is His. Since it is His, there’s so much to celebrate about it.

I guess I deserve a whipping each time my human nature strikes again. My mom would definitely not like it if I continue to feel sad about losing her.

From hereon, I will begin to look forward to Christmas thanking the Lord for the years we spent with mom, for all the blessings, happy times spent with our loved ones, for the trials that made us stronger, and for giving Himself to us as a gift.

And so this is Christmas…

Merry Christmas Mom, we miss you!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

trying to be back in the saddle

It looks like I haven’t written anything for like three days. Last week, I was caught up with one challenging project in the office that almost all of my energy went into it, and by the time I got home, I was too tired to even think about anything. I tried to be in the writing mode but before I could get my fingers typing, my eyes were already drooping that I had to give in to my sleepiness.

Over the weekend, I felt I wanted nothing more than just curling up in bed with my husband and sleep all the weariness away. This morning, though, I looked up at my notes in the calendar and realized that it's my pre-natal schedule with my ob gyne. So, it's not the 28th, huh? Whatever happened to my sense of time? Fortunately, we still made it to the clinic on time--I was her 18th patient. Well, there wasn't much of an update. Dra. wanted me to continue taking iron-folic and omega-3, and just replaced my vitamin B complex with calcium. I was unaware that I had been eating too much ever since I've had a word with Manang L about the size of my belly as ob gyne noticed that I've put on a lot more weight this month. Last month, I was 115 lbs., now I weighed 122 lbs. Whew! Anyway, she still said that it was still within my allowable weight, thank God. Also, I got to hear the baby's heartbeat again via Doppler and I grew more and more excited about being a mom. I asked Dra. if it's already possible to know the gender of our baby but she said that's it's too early yet. She suggested that I have it checked on my 7th month. Hmmm, all the while I thought I would already know it during my 5th month as I've made some research about it but I guess ob gyne knows best. Anyhow, it wouldn't hurt to wait a couple of months more.

Meantime, I've gotta get used to this sleepiness. It's good for me, anyway. In fact, I shouldn't still be awake at this time--but I'm glad I made it through the end of this post. Tomorrow begins again a week of battling with myself and my work. Deadlines. I needed to be up and running. I have to finish the job before we leave for Thanksgiving. That's right, we're following American holidays in the office.

So that's about it for now. I am signing off.

And it ended abruptly. :) *yawn*

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

nothing seems to fit? oh no!

Time flies so fast. It's getting more and more obvious. My belly. I realized I almost run out of clothes to wear. It looks like I have outgrown almost everything I have in my closet and nothing seems to fit me anymore. Don't you just hate it when you have to search for anything still wearable at this time? Ah, I told my husband, we're going shopping this week. Just a pair or two every payday. I'm not planning to buy lots of maternity clothes though because I know this pregnancy won't last very long. We would rather save it for baby's future needs.

Here's a sneak peek at my growing belly. Hubby just took a shot of this tonight. Should I let it grow more by eating more? I think there's nothing wrong with my appetite, though. I eat anytime I feel hungry. So, no worries.


Don't I look awful? hehehe.. I guess I'll just have to sleep this off. Goodnight.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

care for some protection?

I just got a call today from my elder brother who works in Abu Dhabi. It was so sweet of him to ask how I am doing with my pregnancy and all that. I told him I'm okay and that I'm already in my 5th month. He had strict reminders: Take care of the baby. Cover your belly with black cloth when you go to sleep. Now the black cloth was something new to me. So I asked, What's with the black cloth, bro? He said it's for protection or covering against negative elements around, like aswang. And that's not all, he also added that I should have with me garlic and ginger in the bedroom, still for protection purposes, because they help drive the negative elements away. Now that wasn't the first time that I've heard about the garlic and ginger stuff because I've seen it already in the movies and I know of some superstitious preggies who are really doing this. My brother's pointers had me paranoid a little bit. After the call ended, I asked my husband not to sleep ahead of me hehe but then he dozed off just now. Whew!

I felt like God was telling me from somewhere "What little faith you have!" Now I'm thinking. I realized that there is nothing to fear. God is with us all the time. There's no better protection but prayers, prayers that are sincerely said. It's our faith in Him that's going to keep us stronger. Eventually, the good will always win over the bad. Amen.

Dear brother, if you should call me again, let's talk about positive things :)

Saturday, November 15, 2008

should i be worried?

Yesterday, when me and my husband were heading home after an eight hours' work, we bumped into Manang L, the owner of a carenderia just beside our office. Everytime we bump into each other, she usually has something friendly to say to me, although I didn't like how she would often mistake or call me "Janet" (she meant "Jenneth", a friend/ex-officemate/ex-lunchmate of mine, who already found a new life with her American husband in Ozark, Arkansas) when we've already known each other for years. Don't get me wrong, though, I don't have anything against my good friend, Jenneth. Maybe I just find it irritating everytime Manang L displays episodes of selective amnesia. Anyhow, I'm willing to forgive Manang L for it as she must've been too stressed preparing all the viands each day, or worse, she must've been affected by a lot of monosodium glutamate intake in her cooking which probably blocked her memory moisture hehehe.

Yesterday was surprisingly her "tactless day". I didn't know what got into her but she got me worried at first with her opening greeting. She looked and me and commented that she's not comfortable with my pregnancy. I was worried. Having heard that from her who has already experienced two pregnancies in her lifetime meant that I'm probably in trouble. I asked her why, please expound. She said my tummy looked too small yet and I didn't look like I am five months' pregnant. She said that I should eat a lot, especially vegetables. Whoaa, I thought to myself, should I be worried? Although her suggestion regarding eating vegetables seemed viable, I don't think her comment regarding the size of my tummy should affect me. For one, she's not my O.B. gyne, and she's not even one. My O.B. gyne takes record of my growing tummy for each visit and I didn't hear any negative feedback from her. Second, I should be the one to know if my pregnancy feels comfortable or not, not her. Third, I can feel that my baby is comfortable inside as he/she moves around and kicks me a lot, many times during the day. So I shoved the conversation off and tagged my husband along and said our goodbyes to her.

Hmmm, what a day! I wonder what she'd say to me next week. What do you think, Janet, er Jenneth? :)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

inside story: my baby update

i have been feeling my baby's strong movements and kicks this week especially when i'm working in the office and sitting for hours. i know it's my baby moving around, it feels different. it's not painful but it should be enough to get me fidgeted, but only for a while. it's really a wonderful feeling everytime i feel the little one moving inside. for now, though, hubby can't still feel the baby kicking. maybe in the next month or so, he should be lucky enough to feel those kicks. the very first time i told him that i felt the baby's movements inside, his face lightened up! i wonder what his facial expression would be when he would be able to feel it for himself.

and if anyone is wondering why i'm awake at this time, it's because i have awakened from my wonderful sleep. this little fella inside is probably doing some sort of a somersault. i've been talking to him/her about going easy on the movements hehehe.

this now brings me back to the topic on the baby's gender. a friend of mine told me that she is 90% sure it will be a boy because of the strong kicks. she said she didn't feel so much kicking with her baby girl. funny but that's her basis hehehe. however, another friend would tell me she is positive that we are getting a baby girl because i didn't have drastic changes on the way i look ever since the start of my pregnancy and that this is how it is for most moms who are having baby girls. some say mothers also dream about their baby's gender. but until we get this ultrasound done in december, we can't get a confirmation on the baby's gender yet. maybe it's fun to have a poll on this.

alright now, the movements have already subsided, baby should already be resting. and my writing is already making me sleepy. *yawn* i'll get back to my precious sleep now.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

my grown-up birthday wish

Free Clipart Picture of a Birthday Cake with Candles. Click Here to Get Free Images at Clipart Guide.com
yes, the november 11 u.s. veterans day is also joanne's day!

i just turned 32 today but i never felt any older, just wiser (ahem). maybe it’s because i love what i’m seeing in the mirror each day--a bulging stomach, joke. i thought if there’s anything i want granted for my birthday this year, it will not be for myself but for the rest of my family to be happier. i especially wish for my siblings to finally achieve what they want in their lives and for dad to feel that he’s not alone despite being left behind by mom.

my birthday was simply celebrated in the privacy of our home. me and my husband shared together the special pancit that he had cooked for me. cheers for a long life of togetherness! pancit is his specialty. it's funny because when he was still single, he's not doing any cooking at their house, but now he's doing a lot more cooking than i do. i believe it's true that the saying also applies to us women: the best way to a woman's heart is through her stomach. hmmm, i guess i'm referring to my pregnancy and my fascination for food.

i am more than happy and grateful for the many good things and blessings that came my way, and i'm sure there's more to come. so i could only thank God for everything.

i'm also thankful for my family (including my in-laws), officemates and friends who sent their birthday wishes. thanks for remembering.

to geeten, marie, my friend, i’d like to thank you for the cute mittens. you’d make a very good ninang someday hahaha *wink*

Monday, November 10, 2008

my defining moment

nobody goes through this life without ever experiencing their "downs", not even the wealthiest of people. when i was still single, i would recall going back home with my folks everytime i feel like i needed some time off to lift my spirit (don't get me wrong, i don't only go home when i'm troubled, i also go home to visit my family and in a happy state). and i would always remember, it's always my mom who notices my unhappy mode and she would always try to get me to talk about it. and from there we would have a long conversation. that's what i missed about my mom. i missed our talks, her warm, caring and thoughtful ways. i guess God would understand why i still feel sad sometimes about losing her too early. i thought it was too early for her to be taken away from us. i thought she'd get to see how i've grown from a helpless lass to a mature lady and an expectant mom. i thought she'd have the chance to see my baby. but we lost her. we lost her to brain aneurysm. we lost her to God. i don't feel bad about it, just sad. i just missed her, that's all. especially now. although hubby or the rest of the family would always be there to listen, you would want to discuss your fears and worries to your mom, right? i don't know so much about being a mom YET (i'm almost there though) but having a mom beside you gives you that certain distinct comfort. since that's not possible anymore, i just prayed to God that He would always guide me to become a good wife and mother like her. and everytime i call on Him, i feel a sense of relief and peace in my heart. makes me want to look forward to more brighter days ahead.

so now, i'm sharing this song to anyone reading this. i hope this will touch your heart as it had touched mine.



my eyes aren't sleepy yet as i've slept almost the whole afternoon. but i'm way past bedtime, so i have to sleep now, even if it would take a lot of counting sheeps.

Friday, November 7, 2008

what suits you?

(I don't know if this one's funny but everytime I think about this little fiasco I made with my boss years ago, I can't help but laugh at it. I'm realizing now, my terrible hearing might have probably been the cause of this blunder.)

In my previous job, I had an opportunity to work for an Indian boss. He is intelligent and speaks good English, although sometimes I had trouble with his accent--no offense meant, it's just that I'm used to conversing with Filipino bosses who speak the language like it's spoken in our native tongue. I also learned that he can speak and understand a word or phrase of our Cebuano dialect. In one of our conversations, he had asked me to “schedule a meeting with the team tomorrow”. Since he will also be attending that meeting, I asked him what time of the day the said meeting should be scheduled. He answered “What suits you?” but it was not audible enough that I thought he said “Alas ocho”.The way we tell time is influenced by Spanish, alas ocho means 8:00--so I thought he meant 8:00 a.m. Acknowledging him, I said, “Ah, alas ocho” and wrote it down. He corrected me at once, telling me that he said he meant that I can decide on whatever time I choose. Oh my, blooper! I was greatly embarrassed but I tried not to show it, so I picked up and smiled, “Alas ocho would be fine”. :)

Thursday, November 6, 2008

remembering my high school days

i was looking forward to go home with my husband to my native land San Carlos City, Negros Occidental (trivia: this november also, our humble city just celebrated our annual fiesta) to attend our high school alumni homecoming this coming december 13th. i was told about it months earlier, i thought i could come but i guess i have to put long hours of travel aside now that my tummy is getting bigger. i figured it would be a tiring and unpleasant journey for me since i feel like i have to give in to the call of nature most of the time. besides, we need to be extra careful about spending this time around in preparation for our little one.

i really wish i could come and meet all my friends, teachers, classmates and schoolmates that i haven’t seen for ages. colegio de santa rita, my alma mater, i miss you. and thank you for bringing out the best in me.

there’s nothing i can do but to reminisce about my good old high school days. this picture with my high school buddies really brings back good memories. i hope my friends will forgive me for posting this pic in my blog. don't worry guys, they can't recognize you now with this photo. hopefully. :)


The ZYCONJOANIANNE

food watch: oh my, panini!

i woke up with a bad stomach today, must be the panini i ate last night for dinner at the food court. it was my first time to try it. it did taste great but somehow the pita sandwich with all the fresh vegetables with cheese and chicken spread didn't do me any good. or maybe i just can't survive without rice in my meals. i guess i have to take this one out of my food choices, at least until my pregnancy is due. better safe than sorry.

my tummy is getting bigger. i realized i'm already having a hard time putting on my panty standing up hehehe. funny but true. and my appetite is pretty much impressive, it's back in circulation. i feel like ordering and eating all the food i see and want but i have to watch what i eat and my weight so i won't have to deal with health problems affecting me and the baby later on. have to remind myself again about not literally eating for two.

time to go. have to prepare for work.

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008

is it a boy or a girl?

question: if you were a first-time parent-to-be, would you like to know ahead the sex of your baby?

for some hopeful parents, they want to keep the sex of their babies a suspense but, as for me and hubby, we are dying to find out! but whether the baby be a boy or girl, we will love him or her just the same.

i'm already nearing the 5th month of my pregnancy, so i guess the ultrasound can already detect the gender of our baby. it should give us the thrill and excitement to shop ahead for baby garments and stuff. hmmm, couldn't wait to find out but we will do this in december though when our budget is not too tight hehe. so for now, we'll have to keep guessing. :)

Sunday, November 2, 2008

are you prepared to die?

are you prepared to die? this was asked by the priest during his homily today. this is not the first time that we've heard this question but almost always, this will get us to think and reflect on the way we have lived our lives. have we lived it in a way that is pleasing to God? if we know we would be facing death today, are we really prepared for it?

i've been pondering on this question. i wasn't prepared to accept that mom would be leaving us last year. even when her body was no longer responding to the medicines, even when the doctor told us that the surgery can no longer be done, i was still holding on to the possibility that she will be able to make it. i wasn't prepared for her death then because everything came so fast. eventually, i had to deal with the fact that she's returned to our Creator. more than she is my mom, and dad's wife, she is God's daughter, too.

we will never know how and when we are going to die. but we will all have our time. i guess that should be enough to remind us that everything in this life is temporary. that we should embrace death as a gift from God. death is not the end. it is the beginning. our chance to finally be in communion with God.

am i prepared to die? i've tried to direct this question to myself. it's a bit scary but i thought a lot about it. especially now that i'm pregnant. they say when you're pregnant, your one foot is placed forward, six feet below the ground. well, anything can happen to us between now and tomorrow, awake or asleep. so i'd say, "Lord, your will be done!"

happy all souls day. :)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

no pain, no pain...

i have been sleeping on my left side ever since i learned that it's not good for a pregnant woman to lay flat on her back as it affects the circulation and blood flow to the baby. i am not so comfortable with this recommended position as i'm used to sleeping flat on my back or stomach when i wasn't pregnant but i wouldn't want to do anything to harm my baby so i had to keep this one on my sacrifice list. i say sacrifice because i haven't been getting a full night's sleep with this position. takes a matter of getting used to. i usually get up in the middle of the night with some pain in my right butt and the back of my leg. sometimes i find it difficult to get up because of the pain. i had to do some leg stretching and self-motivation just to be able to get out of bed and relieve me of the pain.

well, i must confess i don't exercise regularly. although i keep myself mobile most of the time, i now realize it's still not enough especially that i'm putting on more weight as my pregnancy advances. my poor and usually unbalanced diet is also one of the culprits of the pain and discomfort i've been feeling lately. so i guess it's not too late to eat healthy, do some safe exercises and long walks. and enjoy this pregnancy. i would definitely do anything right just to keep me and the baby healthy and to keep my husband from worrying about me.

and i guess it helps if i don't complain too much. smile, though my joints are aching hehehe
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