Friday, March 5, 2010

is it okay for a woman to tell a guy that she likes him?

Is it okay for a woman to tell a guy that she likes him?  This was a question raised by a friend of mine and she posted it on her wall at a social networking site. I find it interesting to write down my thoughts about it and see if my thoughts make any sense to me and people.

Here's what I am thinking at the moment, and by the way, the question applies only to single, free and available people... I believe it's all about culture. If our culture tells us that it is inappropriate for a girl to make the first move or to suggest anything, then a girl is left to suppress her feelings for a guy. This was the culture that I was brought up in; although there were times before that I was left thinking if I would have felt better about myself if I allowed myself to be more open about my feelings. I guess it worked better for me that I didn't because my feelings cannot be trusted at that time yet because they're still unstable. With other countries, though, they say it is even okay to ask the guy for a date. And girls are not even offended if they are rejected.

Well, anyway, our ability to handle ourselves with men around would somehow change as we grow mature.

When we like someone, we can still show the person that we do and can somehow drop a hint that we look forward to getting to know him better.

I am not a relationship guru but here are my ideas on how we can let a person know that we like him and/or how to get a guy to get to know you better:

1. Look at the person in the eye when you talk and show some sincerity.

2. Be interesting, just as you are. You don't have to act differently. Just try to repackage yourself. I can explain it better this way – If you are going to present a video that the person has not seen yet, he would be skeptical if that video is a good one. So, what do you do? Choose a good 'thumbnail' for that video. Something that you think might catch the person's attention. Highlight the interesting part first but remember not to give everything – just the thumbnail so the person will have to go watch the video until he finishes the full version. Does it make any sense?

3. Invite the person along with your other sets of friends for some peer activity that will allow both of you to get to know each other. Just do some wholesome fun. Don't think about anything that has to do with wine and getting drunk. They're not going to do both of you any good.

4. Try to be the person with no hang-ups. Even though misery loves company, you don't want to end up miserable with a miserable person. Be the positive person (speak to people, smile at people... blah blah blah) that you would like to be.

5. Don't be someone too intimidating for a guy. Don't give a wrong impression that you're too beautiful to be dating anyone.

Is there anything that I'm missing here? Feel free to comment. :-)

10 comments:

Ysiad said...

All I can say is.... you got me GIRL... thanks for this one....

expect another intriguing question in my wall today :-)

meretrisha said...

hahaha that would be great.. nice to have more interesting ideas to post on this blog.. and LOVE is often the most interesting subject *wink*
thanks for following me, by the way

Andrea-Memories As A Mom said...

Those are excellent tips! I'm thinking maybe you SHOULD be a relationship guru :-)

I was the one to ask out my husband. . .so obviously I'm glad I did :-)

By the way, thank you for the comments on my blog this week - I'm glad you enjoyed the story about Logan & the cookies, haha, and enjoyed his shadow pics!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Everything you mentioned in your post are all positive points. May I give my two cents worth of opinion regarding the subject matter here? A girl should not openly show that she cares for the guy because that will make her lose her mystery as far as the guy is concerned. Guys treat courting and interacting with girls as an adventure or a quest. The more they cannot get the girl at once, the more they crave for the girl. What the girl should do is just drop hints of her probable intentions or feelings without being too open about it. A girl who openly profess her intentions for a boy will lose the mystery and the challenge that boys seek after. But girls must psychologize the boy for what he is. If he is the mama's boy type, then he wants to be handled around like a prized teddy bear. He will appreciate aggressive girls. But most boys will always prefer that they will be the ones to pursue their "prey." Parang walang challenge sa guys kung ang babae mismo ang gagawa nang first move. Kailangan swabe lang at coy. Thanks for the post. God bless you always.

jellybelly said...

I have never tried it myself but in these modern times, it should be alright, if the guy is the torpe/timid type.

meretrisha said...

thank you guys! my friend is reading all your valuable comments and opinion here..

Bchai said...

LOL...sorry I'm late on my response. I actually enjoyed reading these tidbits. I don't have much to add, since I'm no relationship expert / guru, but I can't think of anything else to add to your list! Hmmm...all I can think of is that a girl who has self-esteem without being overly arrogant is attractive. At least, if I was a guy, that's what I'd like about a girl who was a bit forward in relationships.

Oh, and a sense of humor!

meretrisha said...

bchai, you're just in time.. ahem, it's funny.. because you just described me! hahahaha joke

Jenn said...

all i can say...i luv the shades, hehe u look cute.

meretrisha said...

thanks net, just relying on old photos for now LOL

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