Saturday, November 10, 2012

married life - how's your listening skills?

Many times I wonder if there is really some truth to that thing called "7-year itch" in marriage. I heard it is that stage when couples will purportedly experience too much familiarity with each other that would somehow cause a serious stir in their relationship. Like most people, that is not something that I look forward to happening in the next 2 years. Of course, I would like to believe that there is no such thing as a "7-year itch".

Without sounding too presumptuous, I asked someone I know who's been married for more than 20 years if she has experienced that stage of her married life, although I am aware that not all marriages/relationships are the same. She kind of told me that it's normal for couples to have differences despite the love they have for each other. She told me that right now, though, the challenges in their married life started popping up again now that her husband appears to have lost the sharpness of his hearing. Many times, their arguments stem from the partner's inability to hear accurately and would often result to misunderstandings and unhealthy communication. I told her if the partner's hearing deficiency is the only thing that's upsetting their married life, they might want to seek the help of a hearing specialist. Her husband doesn't have to go through all that difficulty of hearing especially now that there are already affordable digital hearing aids in the marketplace. I also thought that helping her husband improve his hearing abilities would help him bring back the esteem that he unconsciously lost as he tries to hide this impairment from his friends by simply not seeing or talking to them. Good to know she took my advice well and is now looking to get a hearing device as a Christmas present for the husband but only after seeing a specialist first.

An old picture of us :-)

Anyway, while reflecting on our marriage, I thought we were doing good so far as a couple of five years. Overall, there were no major fights and no major arguments - just some pretty occasional minor differences that are not even worth dwelling upon. Indeed, it takes patience, understanding and respect to keep marriage or any relationship healthy. Hearing or listening to what a husband or wife is saying is important. In fact, there are also times where you need to be a little more sensitive about the things your partner may not be telling you. I do hope to keep our marriage healthy like it is and has been. I know we can do this if we continue to support one another and to keep our spiritual life healthy. With God in our midst, I know we can remain strong and not give up on each other.

14 comments:

Techie She said...

communication is indeed one of the ingredients to a successful relationship; it is one of the things hubby and i give importance to. in God's grace, I hope we won't have that 7 year itch! :-)

Chubskulit Rose said...

Glad I passed that stage with flying colors (wink). I mean if a couple has a great communication, love and respect will always be there as no barrier would be able to cloud each feelings and judgement. Conflict will arise but it's what makes relationship goes stronger as you will discover the ups and downs along the way. Just keep the love burning every day.

tatess said...

My hubby's hearing on the left side is not good, sometimes it is irritating that i keep talking and he won't hear it. But as we go along, acceptance and understanding is important to each couple.

Gven-Rose said...

good communication and trust is a good foundation of a healthy married..am not married yet but would love to apply the above mention foundation when I get married...

Jessica Cassidy said...

My husband can't hardly hear too :-( It is because from working close to the machine that ruins his ear drum :-( We have been married for ten years now and still going despite the ups and downs of our marriage :-) Love, respect and trust are important :-)

jheylo said...

communication in marriage is very important. but when one cannot communicate well because of hearing aid problem then that's another story. Patience, love and respect towards each other and of course worshipping God are vital roles for a happy marriage

Nancy said...

Hmm, I wonder why 7 of all numbers.
Too bad my marriage didn't even last that long. But yes, I give high regard to communication as well regardless of whether it is a close or a long distance relationship.

Mary Anne Vinzon said...

My parents celebrated their 30 years of marriage being together.And up to this time,their love for one another cannot be measured.You are right,learned how to listen with your partners especially when argumentation takes place.

Dhemz said...

I so agree with She...communication is one of the keys...glad we passed that 7-year itch! good luck...:)

Bless said...

Communication is a great tool in marriage. Listening to each other's opinion and suggestion and also learning to compromise will really help in understanding each other.

peachkins said...

The best tool to keep a marriage working-- good communication!

Adin B said...

Awe! Wonderful photo of you two. Looks like one happy couple. I would say good communication really is always something that can help a relationship. Understanding, respect and trust must be in a marriage as well. :)

Shengkay Apuhin said...

bago yung 7year itch sa married life...hanapin ko muna yung maging partner ko sa 7year itch na yan..hahahaha...

emzkie said...

in married life, listening is very important, even though we are not interested in what our partner is talking about like politics, religion, business, stock market, and blah blah that we find boring... it is important for him that we listen and be attentive. i am kind of guilty in this area. lol.

sorry for this late visit!

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